Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i will never coherently bang her
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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