Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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