Your mouth is God's brothel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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