they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
