so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
