At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
