i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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