were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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