Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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