went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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