Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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