I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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