Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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