He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
