it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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