i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize