So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
