yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
