I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
