I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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