I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize