no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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