This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
