if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
