The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
