y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Gay?
German.
Pity.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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