i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
