around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Randomize
