singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
