You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
