I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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