Already got asked if we're dating
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
