So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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