Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
