You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
