Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Where did you get a picture of my penis
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
