it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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