Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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