Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
