it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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