if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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