Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
