oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
