laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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