was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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