What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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