so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize