Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
