just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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