U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
