try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
