he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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