My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
