just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
