it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
