He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
