My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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