You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
