You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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