My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize