I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Where is the hickey?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
