I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
